I feel as though most of the lessons I have learnt in my life, the ones that have stayed with me through the years, are lessons that I never expected... moments that could never be forseen. At least, not foreseen by me.
One that seems to strike me now, as I embark on a journey I do not think I should, back to Babylon 5, in many ways where it all began, is the lesson that although things can change, one can sometimes go back.
That is a lesson I learnt not a week ago while I spoke with Na'Toth.
I believe that one can never go back is not true, I think to say one can never go back to the same place is true, as everything will have changed, or perhaps that one never wants to go back, because I do not know if the memories that will come to me will be welcome ones, but one can go back.
And how that will go, well, we will see.
ooc:i am quite disappointed in myself but the past couple of weeks have yielded less time for this RP than I have hoped. I think it shall improve now on, as the birthday's and such die down. On the plus size there are new mini sized members of my family *G*
When I woke up I couldn't explain it, i couldn't explain why I was alive, and even through the hour glass of time and tunred so many time hind sight has still not provided me with the answers.
I think perhaps, I have lost the belief in love that would explain away why Marcus did what he did, but to me, for all intents and purposes, i don't understand.
Today was nothing.
It was nothing and it was no one.
And that seems how every day is destined to be.
The shadows are getting longer as I walk the dark alleys of my past, day after day.
The days are shorter and the time I once had to laugh and think of friends and things I am thankful for seems to have gone the way of other loved ones who now , rather than occupy my thoughts, haunt them.
So today was nothing but long shadows, regrets and pain that did not need to be dredged up.
And today was no one, no one but myself, making those damn shadows longer and longer.
I wish I would let someone in, but I don't know how I will ever be ready to be who I was, or if now, there is anyone but who I am now, for me to become.